15 years & counting

I'm only 33, how is it possible that I'm celebrating a 15 year wedding anniversary tomorrow?---that was the way the conversation started with my Dad this morning. He didn't have an answer for me, except to say "that's what happens when you get married at 18" yep, leave it to my Dad to keep it real.

15 years!! WOW. How did we make it 15yrs when most people (including us) didn't honestly think we'd make it the first 5 (and we almost didn't). The truth....we are both stubborn people. We'd rather stay and fight for what we want than to throw in the towel and give up. I'd love to make it all romantic and hollywoodish, but it isn't. It's life, we don't have a script or a great hollywood director to tell us what to do next. That isn't to say that we don't love each other a great deal because we do. We know each other in ways no one else ever will. We share three children, three amazing, beautiful children I might add.

A friend asked me the other day, "After 15 years what would be your advice to a couple just getting married"~~ people write books for that kind of crap, so my answer was "go to the book store"....I say that jokingly because rarely do books help. I've had 2 books that I can say honestly changed my life (but I've read hundreds) The truth is what works is different for every one and every couple. For us, we had to learn to have fun & laugh together. Raising three kids, work, bills, family drama, car repairs.....life is just hard sometimes and more than anything it took us learning how to be friends again to learn how to fall back in love again. and again, and again....

To any women friends reading this......listen.....we make relationships with men way to hard. They are simple creatures. It doesn't take a lot to keep them happy. First~~if you don't have your own set of friends, make some and quick. Girlfriends are the key. Your husband is not your everything... stop asking him to be. Second~~if he doesn't like the outfit your wearing...who gives a shit. really? Don't pick outfits based on what you think he might like, wear what you want. Be yourself. There is nothing on this earth more sexy than a confident woman, who knows who she is, cares about herself and really doesn't give a damn what other people think (that includes her husband). Third (and maybe most important)~~men want good food and great sex. Its really that simple. You don't have to be Rachel Ray in the kitchen or even act like Madonna in the bedroom....but show some basic skills (or learn some new kick ass skills) and trust me he will be a happy man.

So Happy Anniversary Bradley!!! In 5 years it will be 20 :)

Ode to my Erin

I talked to my best friend on the phone for an hour this morning. An hour is nothing for us, seriously we could talk (fast, and in circles) for hours, and never run out of things to share.

I think back to my life before we meet and it must have been such a lonely place. I mean I had friends, people I could count on, but I can honestly say I've never had a friend like her. We often think of soul mates as the one we will always be in love with, we romanticize them like in a Hollywood film. Those kinds of soul mates are real, I'm not saying otherwise. However, I honestly believe with all my heart that Erin is my soul sister. She is like family to me, we have raised our kids together. Baylee and Elijah can't remember a time when they haven't known each other. We've been pregnant at the same time, done ministry together, been hung over together, vacationed together, and so many other "things" that make memories of our friendship so great. If I'm to be honest though, it's none of that which makes her so special to me. You can create memories with anyone. What makes her so close in my heart is the journey we have taken together as women. A journey we are still on I might add. The road has tons of twists and turns, high cliffs to climb, steep edges we have to stand on the edge of, caverns that are sometimes dark and scary, jagged rocks that often hurt like hell. Through it all we have been at each others side. Sometimes cheering the other on, sometimes shaking our head going "what are you thinking", sometimes crying, drinking, always laughing.

Our friendship is unique because it is rare. With so many people who walk in and out of our lives its rare to find one with whom you journey with, one who loves you no matter how crazy you get or life gets. We often talk about what we'll do when we grow old. Our goal: to live in Africa and rock sick babies to sleep -or- live in the States and take care of crack babies! I mean seriously what are the odds of finding someone on this earth (and there are over 6 billion of us) who want to end their life that way? I love you Erin. You rock, sister!

Baylee's birthday

My daughter just turned 9. Where in the world does the time go? Seems like yesterday she was born & I wrapped her up in her little pink blankie and brought her home. She has been independent from day one. It was kinda like she said (in her sweetest baby voice) "thanks for the ride Mom, I got it from here"! She is so full of life and love. She teaches me so much about creativity, being silly, and being yourself. She is her own person for sure. I have no doubt she will blaze a trail no matter where she goes in life or what she does.

I look at my little 9 yr old girl with such a thankful heart that God allowed me to be her mother. He took this 24 yr old, scared to death, immature, young woman and gave her a daughter to love. I was so scared to have a girl. How do I protect her, how do I show her how to be a woman when my own mother walked out, how do I teach her about fashion when I'm such a tomboy myself? God took all those fears and walked me through a long, sometimes dark, always twisted, road of faith. Faith in myself that I had within me what it takes to raise a young girl and guide her into womanhood. Faith in him, that he loves her, cares for her, smiles at her personality, laughs at her charm, marvels at her wisdom. Watching God love her has taught me that he loved me that way too. When I was just a little girl, scared and alone, sometimes lost, sometimes hiding, always fearful....he loved me. He laughed when I would climb trees and hide from the world. He marveled at my ability to have compassion on other people, even though my own world was falling apart.

Listening to God direct Baylee, love her, guide her... has taught me so much about who he is and how he loves all of us. More than anything, it has helped heal my heart. Opening my heart to allow that kind of love inside removes so much scar tissue left over from all those times in my own little girl childhood when I had to hide & be afraid. That kind of love shines light into some very dark places in my past. It reminds me of this David Crowder song "oh how he loves us". Its so true. How can I regret anything in my past, present, future....when I understand and invite light and love into my heart.

So Happy Birthday to my daughter, Baylee Marie. Next year we start double digits...and even though the fashion war has already started, I have a feeling it only gets worse from here :)

sighs of relief

sometimes I just have to write and get it all out, today is one of those days!!!

Its been less than two years since we found Brad's biological father, and 2 sisters he knew nothing about. We officially meet face to face in Jackson, TN for Thanksgiving dinner 2009. My how a few months can change your life! (I will not cry, I will not cry....damn it, I'm crying) Words can't really capture the ways in which finding the rest of our family has shaped us, changed us, made us shake our heads, made us pinch ourselves just to see if all this is real or not.

A few days ago we sat in an ICU family waiting area to see how Tom was progressing in open heart surgery. We sat with anxious, afraid, hopeful, joyous hearts. I'm telling you Brad and I were a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand, how sweet of the Lord to allow us a few months with Tom if indeed it was his time to go home, but how sad it would be if we lost him. How joyful we were to know that if the Lord called him home, he would forever be in the presence of Christ and reunited with his loved ones who have passed, namely his wife Jackie and his parents. BUT the biggest, most overwhelming emotion came when after 12 hours of being at the hospital we got a call from the Dr. saying all was well, he came through with flying colors: RELIEF, I tell you, relief :) Brad and I both looked at each other, smiled, cried and began the rounds of phone calls we had to make. Tom comes home today, in just a few short hours he'll be sitting in his chair, telling us jokes, and snoring so loud the house will shake....good times!!!!

mothers, be good to your daughters-John Mayer

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Ashamed to be Baptist

War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting? ~The Value of Families

I will never, as long as I live, understand the fight by the church to limit gay rights. If we as a denomination spent half as much energy working on other social issues, such as child abuse, bullying, caring for our elderly, etc....we'd get a lot more accomplished in our world. It is so frustrating!!!!

being reminded

Seeing this picture of my daughter standing here in a flower girl dress, only reminds me of her future and that one day she'll be the bride!

I pray for her future husband. I pray that he'll be strong for her and love her as he should. Which in turn, causes me to pray for my own marriage because I know that Brad and I are the first picture of love that she will see. I pray that we are strong and that we love each other as we should. always.....

My journey in and out of homeschooling our kids

I'll start by saying that I don't (at all) feel the need to defend myself, BUT people keep asking me about it. Why did I stop homeschooling our kids?

reason: God only told me to do it for that year. When the 09-10 school year came to a close, I felt peace about sending them back into the public school system. I never once felt like God was calling me to another year of teaching my kids at home.

In the back of my mind, I always felt something like "if I could just homeschool my kids, everything would be ok"..."if I had more time with them"...."a more laid back lifestyle is what I've always wanted"...."if they could learn what they are most interested in, it would be fun learning"..."if they could be around other families who share our values"....etc, etc..."if if if" So one day as I was talking to God about all this, he said to me, "then do it already, what are you so afraid of....take a risk, do the thing", so I did!

In some ways it helped my family, in other ways it was very damaging. Some memories I will always cherish, they are sweet times with my kids I'd had never experienced any other way. Other memories will haunt me for the rest of my life.

the good: a laid back family life was great. I could drop everything and go help a friend, spend the night with family, take a mini vacation if I wanted to. All I had to do was pack up school books, or plan an educational field trip along the way, and bam, our school hours where done! My kids loved the planning process. Getting to pick what they learned about was such a new concept, and we all fell in love with it. Baylee's love for art, and the creative process flourished & Neal could tell you every character involved in the civil rights movement & how they contributed to equality for all people in America. Making dinner and grocery trips became Math lessons some days. Other days, a picnic at the local Battlefield memorial became a state history lesson. We loved it.

the bad: to my surprise, a vast majority of homeschool families feel the need to defend themselves. I still don't understand where or how this came about. The more friends I tried to make, the more families I got to know, there was this underlying theme of fear. Fear of public school, fear of public school families, teachers, children, fear of having their right to homeschool taken away, fear that their children would somehow be damaged goods by attending school, or having friends that do. It was all very freakish (for lack of a better word) to me. I didn't understand, and still don't. My children overheard some very inappropriate talk among adults. Adults who claimed to love and follow Christ, yet talked about humanity as if it were already damned to hell, and we Christians had better stay away from all the "bad people" out there. It made my stomach turn, and I was sad that a number of children are being raised to believe such things about the world and the perception of God they will develop as a result. Not every family I know that home educated their children feel or act this way, but in my own experience, I meet enough of them to know this mentality of "elite-ism" and fearfulness does exist to a great number in the homeschool community.

the ugly: when your with a group of people 24-7, they get to see the real you. There is no faking it, no pretending, no game face. Its the real, raw, authentic you. As a family we saw the best and worst of each other last year. As a Mom, my kids saw the sometimes weak, sinful creature that I can become. I can be short tempered, unorganized, lazy, boastful of the wrong things, and a host of other not so pretty qualities. There were nights when I'd kneel beside my kids bed and ask for their forgiveness for that day. There are some memories (such as yelling at Baylee for the 25th time already to just GO TO BED) that I wish I could forget. The look of fear and disappointment on her face is more than I can bare some days. I won't even go into my marriage and the stress that having children with you ALL the time can bring.

Through it all, God taught me grace in a whole new way. Grace to face the day and grace to face myself. My children went back to public school this year, and they are performing on or above grade level. They are also more confident with themselves, and a lot more friendly to their peers. Was the year a success, I don't know. I doubt I'll have the answer until I see it through the eyes of my adult children one day. At the end of the day, I think I learned more than my kids ever did last year. I was the teacher, but they gave me a crash course in life. And I'm the better for it!

My trip "home"

Last week Brad & I traveled to our home church, Richpond Baptist Church, in KY. I walk through the doors and almost immediately I feel "home". Funny how that happens. Its been a few years since we actually came and sat in on a service. This one was special because our children had a part in leading worship that night, but even as the event was a happy one I found myself getting a little sad. WHY? Because there really is no place like home, and I miss it. I don't think I realized just how much until that night. I miss our pastor, Steve and the way he usually tears up when talking about Jesus. I miss his wife, Lisa who is such a sweet, multifaceted lady of enormous talent. It really is true that behind every good man, stands a better woman! Sorry Steve. I miss the people we grew close to, I miss the youth group we taught, as many of them are now grown and getting married or have children. Talk about feeling old, geesh. However, as sweet as those things are, what I miss most are the memories attached to that place. I'm sitting there wishing my kids could grow up within the walls of this church because it really is such an amazing family of faith. I remember sitting in Steve's office crying my eyes out because my marriage was in ruin. I remember Steve coming with Brad to my apt. at midnight to pray for us. I remember the first womens class I taught (thanks for the push, Shirley Meador, I miss you too), I remember days spent on June's front porch sipping tea and talking about life, love, loss, hurt, Jesus. Let's see....Baylee's baby dedication, Brad's licensing as a minister, pouring my heart out on the alter broken to pieces over my own addictions. Easter pageants, Christmas pageants, choir performances, I could go on and on. Why is "home" so important? Because that is where we begin life. For me, Richpond, is the place God showed up in my life, picked my sorry self up out of the mud, and began to shape and mold me into a different person. He is still shaping me and sometimes the way he does it is dreadfully painful. I learned to trust him in that house of worship, lead by some amazing people. It was good to be reminded of that last week. It was good to remember, and it was so good to be home!

Grounded

Today (well for the last few months actually) I have been reminded to look to Christ as my only identity factor. WHY WHY, do I always forget? It is so easy in this life to get distracted from the truth. It is so easy to get attached to things, people, places. Not that its a bad thing to get attached, God gives us blessing and gifts to enjoy, BUT I find myself drawing my strength from those things and not from God. And when those things (i.e. a marriage, a job, a home, our children, our "social" standing, our bank account) are lost, or seem to be slipping away its easy to feel like the world is closing in. Satan uses such traps to convince us that life is dark, dull, lonely, etc. and after we buy into the lie he tells us, then we are right where he wants us to be. Our guard down, doubtful of God's love for us, doubtful of God's intentions towards us. The same trick he has been using since the garden. Did God really say? Don't you wonder why God is holding out on you? And even as I know this truth, and even as I write it and ask God to speak it fresh into my heart, I still find myself looking a my bank balance, looking at my children's accomplishments, looking to everything else to find comfort and harmony in my life.....When the one person who can bring peace to my heart and in my life gets what energy I have left after I've wasted my energy focusing on everything else.

Just a short rant, no worries

I need to hear more grace. Just a simple fact of my life right now. Life is hard. I hear tons of messages from churches, books, friends, family, etc...about how "we" (meaning us Christians) need to do more to make God happy. AS IF.....maybe they haven't read that part in scripture that says, our righteous acts are like filthy rags before a holy God. Nothing we do or don't do (once we are saved) can take God's love or blessings away from us. He blesses who he wants to, no matter. Lots of people who don't claim to know Christ or care anything of God have been blessed by him. My actions, or in actions do not determine his love and care towards me. If not for his grace I'd be a mountain of ashes. Only by acknowledging his grace and kindness towards me do I keep myself in check. The moment I begin to think that God's love is based on me and not on him and the finished work of the Cross, I'm in danger of becoming the very thing Jesus warned about, white washed tombs. Pretty on the outside, but full of lies and deceit on the inside. May I always remember that its ALL about HIM.

Thoughts from yet another birthday.....

WOW! another birthday down, its been a crazy kinda year for me, and that is most likely an understatment. I guess like every year I've had ups and downs. Mountians and valleys of life we like to call them. Many things have shaped my outlook on life in a new way over the past year.

I lost a someone in my life who I had grown to think of as a close and dear friend. Needless to say, it left me bruised, and wounded in ways I hadn't felt in a long time. Instead of giving into the desire to grow bitter and resentful, I have learned that life is best lived with your heart wide open, knowing full well that living that way gives people a chance to hurt you. At the end of the day, I'd rather be hurt than not risk at all.

The loss of Gabe Brewer at RSC impacted me in ways I never expected. I didn't even know him that well, but to witness a church be the hands and feet of Jesus during such a tragedy left me awe struck at the willingness of the human spirit to offer love, hope, and compassion, in the most difficult of times.

We meet Brad's biological father in Nov. 09. What most astounded me about the entire situation was God's timing. He worked everything out, in his time. Of course his plans are always better than our own.

I began homeschooling our kids this year. This experience more than any other has impacted me the most this past year. Number one, I learned that I can in fact do the impossible.....be with my kids 24/7 and not loose my mind. What I have learned about the "debate" (homeschool vrs public school) is that people are really misinformed about the other side of the issue. Public schools are not the enemy. There are really great teachers out there who love children and consider it a very high and responsible calling to teach them. And not all homeschool parents are "fundementalists" or wear skirts and long hair. Homeschooled kids are very normal, and public school is not the devil.

So on my 32nd birthday, I feel overwhelmed with life, yes.....but confident that HIS mercies are new every morning. And no matter what may come, HE is on my side, calling me to live life to the fullest. Not to waste a moment of time, HIS time. To love with open arms, and not to close them to tight when I get hurt.

"LOVE"

"For love is as strong as death, Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD, Many waters cannot quench love; neither can floods drown it."
Song Of Solomon 8:6-7

It is so true, love is the strongest force God has given to his creation. How we use it is left to us.

Yes, I've crossed over into the "Twilight" world.....

I didn't watch "Twilight" until it came out on DVD last year. The movie was not that great, and I failed to see what all the fuss was over. I went to see "New Moon" with a friend of mine last month. Everyone I knew (ok, almost everyone) was going, so I gave into peer pressure and jumped off the cliff. At the end of "New Moon", Bella and Edward plan to get married. Are you kidding? Marry a vampire? Everyone kept telling me to read the books, because there was so much of the story that didn't make it into the movie. So, that is what I did. I started with "Eclipse" to see how in the world Edward and Bella worked out marriage, then I just had to read "Breaking Dawn" for all the juicy (no pun intended) details. After reading the two books (in record time I might add); I went back to the beginning and read all of them. My friends were right, the movies don't do the books justice at all. Rarely do books make good movies. I had read all the reviews, I've even read some reviews from a theological perspective, and how the author, Stephanie Meyer worked her own Mormon faith into the story. At the end of the day, none of the reviews I read paint the series into what it really is. As far as matters of faith it is a deeply spiritual tale of love, hope, loyalty and the power of redemption. I didn't get the feeling that any particular faith played a role in the books. It was more of a universal tale of wanting to be loved, and finding the love you want; wanting to be known and longing to be accepted. The universal desire of every human heart.

It is, by all accounts a love story, much better than Romeo and Juliet, I might add. Edward Cullen (not to be confused with Rob Pattinson) is the best male character to come along in quite some time. The reason so many woman of all ages swoon over him is the way he loves Bella. With all the feminism junk of today, and all the bra burning of the past, woman still want to be loved in a way that only a real man can love them. We want men to be men! No sissy boys allowed (although, unfortunately that is what alot of men have become). Edward offers Bella his strength, his power, protection, loyalty, and all the while he shows enormous restraint when he is around her. Not wanting to hurt her in any way, the sheer will power it takes to be in the same room with her pales in comparison to anything I've ever seen. It makes a recovering alcoholic look tame.

For me personally, the role of Edward Cullen is its own story. All of us, no matter what faith we are or are not, have a strong desire to be loved, to belong, to take off our mask, and reveal our true selves to the world. We all have our own personal demons to control, our own monsters to keep at bay. Will someone love us if they really know who we are, what we are capable of, what we have done in the past, how we could hurt them if we get to close, can I stop hiding, will you love me anyway, can you see past the monsters? All those questions get answered for Edward. Bella loves him. It is the biggest surprise of Edwards long life. Its more than he ever expected and more than he deserves. In the end, Bella gives up her life of luxury, her humanity to be with him. She loves him so much, that she would enter into his world, feel the pain of darkness, the terror of what she has now become. I have never read a love story like it, and doubt I ever will again. It is a one of a kind tale, sort of.....

It is not the Christian story by any stretch of the imagination. But it does remind me in my own personal life and my own faith just how much Jesus loves the human race. Sinful, vile, evil people...capable of unspeakable acts of violence and hatred. At times we show no restraint to the evil inside us, and yet....he gave up so much (at least the human side of Jesus) to show how much he cared. How he longed for us to embrace the good, and leave the darkness behind. He loves us. With our mask off and all our monsters exposed....God says "come", "its ok, I know who you really are, you are mine".

I loved the books and I'm in love with the love story it tells. I'm a follower, and if it isn't clear by now, I'm totally Team Edward!!

Christmas expectations

I get so caught up in the expectation of it all. The lights, the
presents, the "magic" of the season. All these things are good.
Blessing from the father, and I enjoy them. People usually say
something like "remember the reason we celebrate, or its Jesus
birthday" something to that effect, just to remind us that its not
about the "magic" of the lights, or Santa or whatever may steal our
affections. This year I have be thinking of the expectation of the
season, and how it effects me. I get excited to find the "perfect"
gift for someone, I'm overjoyed when the kids open Santa on Christmas
morning, I love making homemade gifts for my grandmother (who insists
I not spend any money on her). Then all in one day, the "magic" is
gone, the toy that you found (that you spent hours searching for and
fighting over with some crazy women at Toys R Us) is discarded. Its
such a disappointment of sorts. At least for me, its sad to see the
season go.

The longing of the heart that Christmas brings is something of the
human experience. We long for peace, for happy children, for beautiful
family gatherings, and wonderful memories. Then we are confronted with
the reality that our longings and dreams are carried out in a sinful,
fallen world. The longing in my heart for "peace on earth" doesn't
come by accident. God put it there for a purpose. That purpose is to
drive us to seek the one who can fill our hearts with peace, and our
homes with joy. The peace and joy that comes from knowing him. The
understanding that one day, all this expectation, waiting, longing,
going to the mountaintop, living in the valley, will come to an end.
We will stand before our God, whole and complete, not lacking
anything. We will be made perfect, the real us, who we were meant to
be from the beginning of time. He will come and put all our longings
to rest. The expectation and hope for "peace on earth" will be meet!
That is the good news of the Christmas story that began in a manger
over 2000 years ago. In the meantime, enjoy the lights, search for the
perfect gift, and yes, stare down the woman at Toys R Us who threatens
to come between you and a happy child on Christmas morning.

He is such a mess

So I'm wondering if Brennan has the early signs of multiple personality disorder????

When we wore his Halloween costume, (he was Buzz Lightyear) he thought he became the real Buzz (I know, how cute). Well, since then.....he has become the Cookie Monster, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, and of course he still refers to himself as Big Buzz.

I'll just be joking with him and ask him "are you Frosty", or "are you Rudolph" sometimes he'll say "yep" and sometimes he'll say "no, I'm _______" So when he has been getting into trouble he has been blaming it on one of this alter egos. I know, I know....its so darn cute!!!

Sometimes life just happens and we don't really understand why, or how God can allow this or that; how can he turn something evil into something beautiful? But, HE can. The events of this past Thanksgiving weekend prove to me once again that he is a God of miracles, and that nothing is to hard for him to accomplish.

Through a series of undesirable events, Brad never knew his birth father. I'll keep those details that are so personal, just that, personal. At the age of 12, he found out that the man he knew and loved as his Dad, was not the same man who had helped bring him into the world. He spent the rest of his life with unanswered questions, feelings of wonder and loneliness he could never really explain.

That is where his meddling wife steps in. I had searched for his biological father off and on our entire marriage. There would be times of intense search followed by times of long inactivity. About six months ago, I found someone on facebook who matched the description of the man I had been searching for. Through an exchange of a few e-mails, I discovered that he was in fact the man I had spent years looking for and thinking about, Tom Matthews, my husband's biological father. At that point, I gave Brad all the information I had gathered, and let him take the lead from there. A few phone calls were exchanged between Brad and Tom, and it looked as if we could meet him soon.

Unknown to us, Brad had a little sister who had been longing to find her older brother all her life. She had always known he existed but had very little information to go on for finding him. About six months ago (around the same time I had made contact with Tom) she had been on a retreat where she made a bucket list of things she would like to do. At the top of that list, was finding and meeting her older brother. What amazes me about this, is that God was answering both our prayers at the same time, and neither of us knew it, or even knew the other existed. On Thanksgiving when she came home for the holiday, her Dad told her he had made contact with her older brother, and she was floored. A few minutes later she was talking to him on the phone, and less than 24 hrs. later she was hugging him for the first time. It was the sweetest reunion between a brother and sister. She embraced him for what seemed like forever and studied every aspect of him. Besides the birth of my children, it was absolutely the most beautiful event I've ever been privileged to witness. The reunion between he and his Dad was just as sweet. Its as if two grown men looked at each other and said (with a sigh of relief) "oh, its finally you". I saw years of grief, resentment, wonder, and brokenness fall off the two of them as we sat and talked all afternoon. Five hours later after the first of many long embraces that day, no one wanted to leave. It seemed to be a perfect afternoon and no one, including myself, wanted it to come to an end.

We have all promised to keep in touch with each other. We have already been making plans for Tom to meet his grandchildren, and for the kids to meet their new cousins, and their Aunt Amanda. Brad also learned that he has an older sister, Denise, who lives in Tampa, FL. We have meet her son, Thomas and look forward to meeting the rest of her family soon.

God is good, all the time....and all the time, God is good.

MORE CUTE KIDS

Cutest kids

THESE HAVE TO BE THE THREE CUTEST KIDS ON THE PLANET!

Ramblings of a Dog Lover

There is a reason that dogs are called man's best friend, its because they really are. Dogs are great. They love you when no one else does, when the world turns its back on you, your dog and Jesus is all ya got left. Dogs are happy to see you come home, they lick your face when your sad, give you a paw to cry on when you need to, all without judgement or lectures.

When our dog, "Bodie" died I wasn't sure our family would ever recover. It was a tragic death, and it shook us all. We loved him so much, but more than that we knew he loved us. He was loyal to a fault, with the sweetest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen. Shortly after his death we got a kitten. We knew from the get go, that she was a rebound relationship. We love her and she is great, BUT cats are not dogs. THEN yesterday we rescued a doxie dog. From early in my childhood this has always been my favorite breed of dog. The kids were so excited to meet her. And I knew she had to pass the "kid friendly" test before I could bring her home. Doxie's can sometimes be aggressive with children. She was so sweet. "Dixie" is what we've named her and from the moment we saw her we fell in love. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She has been so neglected that I think she is just so happy to have someone love her.

What amazes me about "Dixie" is my kids ability to love again. It struck me this morning as we were showing her off to some friends that my kids think that she is as great as I do. They love her, really love her. And after loosing "Bodie" I wasn't sure that would happen again, and so soon. When I've been hurt, wounded, or lost someone close to me, I tend to become shy, afraid, and scared to risk my heart again. My kids show no sign of that at all, and I'm in such amazement to watch them open up their hearts again.