Yes, I've crossed over into the "Twilight" world.....

I didn't watch "Twilight" until it came out on DVD last year. The movie was not that great, and I failed to see what all the fuss was over. I went to see "New Moon" with a friend of mine last month. Everyone I knew (ok, almost everyone) was going, so I gave into peer pressure and jumped off the cliff. At the end of "New Moon", Bella and Edward plan to get married. Are you kidding? Marry a vampire? Everyone kept telling me to read the books, because there was so much of the story that didn't make it into the movie. So, that is what I did. I started with "Eclipse" to see how in the world Edward and Bella worked out marriage, then I just had to read "Breaking Dawn" for all the juicy (no pun intended) details. After reading the two books (in record time I might add); I went back to the beginning and read all of them. My friends were right, the movies don't do the books justice at all. Rarely do books make good movies. I had read all the reviews, I've even read some reviews from a theological perspective, and how the author, Stephanie Meyer worked her own Mormon faith into the story. At the end of the day, none of the reviews I read paint the series into what it really is. As far as matters of faith it is a deeply spiritual tale of love, hope, loyalty and the power of redemption. I didn't get the feeling that any particular faith played a role in the books. It was more of a universal tale of wanting to be loved, and finding the love you want; wanting to be known and longing to be accepted. The universal desire of every human heart.

It is, by all accounts a love story, much better than Romeo and Juliet, I might add. Edward Cullen (not to be confused with Rob Pattinson) is the best male character to come along in quite some time. The reason so many woman of all ages swoon over him is the way he loves Bella. With all the feminism junk of today, and all the bra burning of the past, woman still want to be loved in a way that only a real man can love them. We want men to be men! No sissy boys allowed (although, unfortunately that is what alot of men have become). Edward offers Bella his strength, his power, protection, loyalty, and all the while he shows enormous restraint when he is around her. Not wanting to hurt her in any way, the sheer will power it takes to be in the same room with her pales in comparison to anything I've ever seen. It makes a recovering alcoholic look tame.

For me personally, the role of Edward Cullen is its own story. All of us, no matter what faith we are or are not, have a strong desire to be loved, to belong, to take off our mask, and reveal our true selves to the world. We all have our own personal demons to control, our own monsters to keep at bay. Will someone love us if they really know who we are, what we are capable of, what we have done in the past, how we could hurt them if we get to close, can I stop hiding, will you love me anyway, can you see past the monsters? All those questions get answered for Edward. Bella loves him. It is the biggest surprise of Edwards long life. Its more than he ever expected and more than he deserves. In the end, Bella gives up her life of luxury, her humanity to be with him. She loves him so much, that she would enter into his world, feel the pain of darkness, the terror of what she has now become. I have never read a love story like it, and doubt I ever will again. It is a one of a kind tale, sort of.....

It is not the Christian story by any stretch of the imagination. But it does remind me in my own personal life and my own faith just how much Jesus loves the human race. Sinful, vile, evil people...capable of unspeakable acts of violence and hatred. At times we show no restraint to the evil inside us, and yet....he gave up so much (at least the human side of Jesus) to show how much he cared. How he longed for us to embrace the good, and leave the darkness behind. He loves us. With our mask off and all our monsters exposed....God says "come", "its ok, I know who you really are, you are mine".

I loved the books and I'm in love with the love story it tells. I'm a follower, and if it isn't clear by now, I'm totally Team Edward!!

Christmas expectations

I get so caught up in the expectation of it all. The lights, the
presents, the "magic" of the season. All these things are good.
Blessing from the father, and I enjoy them. People usually say
something like "remember the reason we celebrate, or its Jesus
birthday" something to that effect, just to remind us that its not
about the "magic" of the lights, or Santa or whatever may steal our
affections. This year I have be thinking of the expectation of the
season, and how it effects me. I get excited to find the "perfect"
gift for someone, I'm overjoyed when the kids open Santa on Christmas
morning, I love making homemade gifts for my grandmother (who insists
I not spend any money on her). Then all in one day, the "magic" is
gone, the toy that you found (that you spent hours searching for and
fighting over with some crazy women at Toys R Us) is discarded. Its
such a disappointment of sorts. At least for me, its sad to see the
season go.

The longing of the heart that Christmas brings is something of the
human experience. We long for peace, for happy children, for beautiful
family gatherings, and wonderful memories. Then we are confronted with
the reality that our longings and dreams are carried out in a sinful,
fallen world. The longing in my heart for "peace on earth" doesn't
come by accident. God put it there for a purpose. That purpose is to
drive us to seek the one who can fill our hearts with peace, and our
homes with joy. The peace and joy that comes from knowing him. The
understanding that one day, all this expectation, waiting, longing,
going to the mountaintop, living in the valley, will come to an end.
We will stand before our God, whole and complete, not lacking
anything. We will be made perfect, the real us, who we were meant to
be from the beginning of time. He will come and put all our longings
to rest. The expectation and hope for "peace on earth" will be meet!
That is the good news of the Christmas story that began in a manger
over 2000 years ago. In the meantime, enjoy the lights, search for the
perfect gift, and yes, stare down the woman at Toys R Us who threatens
to come between you and a happy child on Christmas morning.

He is such a mess

So I'm wondering if Brennan has the early signs of multiple personality disorder????

When we wore his Halloween costume, (he was Buzz Lightyear) he thought he became the real Buzz (I know, how cute). Well, since then.....he has become the Cookie Monster, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, and of course he still refers to himself as Big Buzz.

I'll just be joking with him and ask him "are you Frosty", or "are you Rudolph" sometimes he'll say "yep" and sometimes he'll say "no, I'm _______" So when he has been getting into trouble he has been blaming it on one of this alter egos. I know, I know....its so darn cute!!!

Sometimes life just happens and we don't really understand why, or how God can allow this or that; how can he turn something evil into something beautiful? But, HE can. The events of this past Thanksgiving weekend prove to me once again that he is a God of miracles, and that nothing is to hard for him to accomplish.

Through a series of undesirable events, Brad never knew his birth father. I'll keep those details that are so personal, just that, personal. At the age of 12, he found out that the man he knew and loved as his Dad, was not the same man who had helped bring him into the world. He spent the rest of his life with unanswered questions, feelings of wonder and loneliness he could never really explain.

That is where his meddling wife steps in. I had searched for his biological father off and on our entire marriage. There would be times of intense search followed by times of long inactivity. About six months ago, I found someone on facebook who matched the description of the man I had been searching for. Through an exchange of a few e-mails, I discovered that he was in fact the man I had spent years looking for and thinking about, Tom Matthews, my husband's biological father. At that point, I gave Brad all the information I had gathered, and let him take the lead from there. A few phone calls were exchanged between Brad and Tom, and it looked as if we could meet him soon.

Unknown to us, Brad had a little sister who had been longing to find her older brother all her life. She had always known he existed but had very little information to go on for finding him. About six months ago (around the same time I had made contact with Tom) she had been on a retreat where she made a bucket list of things she would like to do. At the top of that list, was finding and meeting her older brother. What amazes me about this, is that God was answering both our prayers at the same time, and neither of us knew it, or even knew the other existed. On Thanksgiving when she came home for the holiday, her Dad told her he had made contact with her older brother, and she was floored. A few minutes later she was talking to him on the phone, and less than 24 hrs. later she was hugging him for the first time. It was the sweetest reunion between a brother and sister. She embraced him for what seemed like forever and studied every aspect of him. Besides the birth of my children, it was absolutely the most beautiful event I've ever been privileged to witness. The reunion between he and his Dad was just as sweet. Its as if two grown men looked at each other and said (with a sigh of relief) "oh, its finally you". I saw years of grief, resentment, wonder, and brokenness fall off the two of them as we sat and talked all afternoon. Five hours later after the first of many long embraces that day, no one wanted to leave. It seemed to be a perfect afternoon and no one, including myself, wanted it to come to an end.

We have all promised to keep in touch with each other. We have already been making plans for Tom to meet his grandchildren, and for the kids to meet their new cousins, and their Aunt Amanda. Brad also learned that he has an older sister, Denise, who lives in Tampa, FL. We have meet her son, Thomas and look forward to meeting the rest of her family soon.

God is good, all the time....and all the time, God is good.

MORE CUTE KIDS

Cutest kids

THESE HAVE TO BE THE THREE CUTEST KIDS ON THE PLANET!

Ramblings of a Dog Lover

There is a reason that dogs are called man's best friend, its because they really are. Dogs are great. They love you when no one else does, when the world turns its back on you, your dog and Jesus is all ya got left. Dogs are happy to see you come home, they lick your face when your sad, give you a paw to cry on when you need to, all without judgement or lectures.

When our dog, "Bodie" died I wasn't sure our family would ever recover. It was a tragic death, and it shook us all. We loved him so much, but more than that we knew he loved us. He was loyal to a fault, with the sweetest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen. Shortly after his death we got a kitten. We knew from the get go, that she was a rebound relationship. We love her and she is great, BUT cats are not dogs. THEN yesterday we rescued a doxie dog. From early in my childhood this has always been my favorite breed of dog. The kids were so excited to meet her. And I knew she had to pass the "kid friendly" test before I could bring her home. Doxie's can sometimes be aggressive with children. She was so sweet. "Dixie" is what we've named her and from the moment we saw her we fell in love. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She has been so neglected that I think she is just so happy to have someone love her.

What amazes me about "Dixie" is my kids ability to love again. It struck me this morning as we were showing her off to some friends that my kids think that she is as great as I do. They love her, really love her. And after loosing "Bodie" I wasn't sure that would happen again, and so soon. When I've been hurt, wounded, or lost someone close to me, I tend to become shy, afraid, and scared to risk my heart again. My kids show no sign of that at all, and I'm in such amazement to watch them open up their hearts again.