15 years & counting

I'm only 33, how is it possible that I'm celebrating a 15 year wedding anniversary tomorrow?---that was the way the conversation started with my Dad this morning. He didn't have an answer for me, except to say "that's what happens when you get married at 18" yep, leave it to my Dad to keep it real.

15 years!! WOW. How did we make it 15yrs when most people (including us) didn't honestly think we'd make it the first 5 (and we almost didn't). The truth....we are both stubborn people. We'd rather stay and fight for what we want than to throw in the towel and give up. I'd love to make it all romantic and hollywoodish, but it isn't. It's life, we don't have a script or a great hollywood director to tell us what to do next. That isn't to say that we don't love each other a great deal because we do. We know each other in ways no one else ever will. We share three children, three amazing, beautiful children I might add.

A friend asked me the other day, "After 15 years what would be your advice to a couple just getting married"~~ people write books for that kind of crap, so my answer was "go to the book store"....I say that jokingly because rarely do books help. I've had 2 books that I can say honestly changed my life (but I've read hundreds) The truth is what works is different for every one and every couple. For us, we had to learn to have fun & laugh together. Raising three kids, work, bills, family drama, car repairs.....life is just hard sometimes and more than anything it took us learning how to be friends again to learn how to fall back in love again. and again, and again....

To any women friends reading this......listen.....we make relationships with men way to hard. They are simple creatures. It doesn't take a lot to keep them happy. First~~if you don't have your own set of friends, make some and quick. Girlfriends are the key. Your husband is not your everything... stop asking him to be. Second~~if he doesn't like the outfit your wearing...who gives a shit. really? Don't pick outfits based on what you think he might like, wear what you want. Be yourself. There is nothing on this earth more sexy than a confident woman, who knows who she is, cares about herself and really doesn't give a damn what other people think (that includes her husband). Third (and maybe most important)~~men want good food and great sex. Its really that simple. You don't have to be Rachel Ray in the kitchen or even act like Madonna in the bedroom....but show some basic skills (or learn some new kick ass skills) and trust me he will be a happy man.

So Happy Anniversary Bradley!!! In 5 years it will be 20 :)

Ode to my Erin

I talked to my best friend on the phone for an hour this morning. An hour is nothing for us, seriously we could talk (fast, and in circles) for hours, and never run out of things to share.

I think back to my life before we meet and it must have been such a lonely place. I mean I had friends, people I could count on, but I can honestly say I've never had a friend like her. We often think of soul mates as the one we will always be in love with, we romanticize them like in a Hollywood film. Those kinds of soul mates are real, I'm not saying otherwise. However, I honestly believe with all my heart that Erin is my soul sister. She is like family to me, we have raised our kids together. Baylee and Elijah can't remember a time when they haven't known each other. We've been pregnant at the same time, done ministry together, been hung over together, vacationed together, and so many other "things" that make memories of our friendship so great. If I'm to be honest though, it's none of that which makes her so special to me. You can create memories with anyone. What makes her so close in my heart is the journey we have taken together as women. A journey we are still on I might add. The road has tons of twists and turns, high cliffs to climb, steep edges we have to stand on the edge of, caverns that are sometimes dark and scary, jagged rocks that often hurt like hell. Through it all we have been at each others side. Sometimes cheering the other on, sometimes shaking our head going "what are you thinking", sometimes crying, drinking, always laughing.

Our friendship is unique because it is rare. With so many people who walk in and out of our lives its rare to find one with whom you journey with, one who loves you no matter how crazy you get or life gets. We often talk about what we'll do when we grow old. Our goal: to live in Africa and rock sick babies to sleep -or- live in the States and take care of crack babies! I mean seriously what are the odds of finding someone on this earth (and there are over 6 billion of us) who want to end their life that way? I love you Erin. You rock, sister!