Thoughts from yet another birthday.....

WOW! another birthday down, its been a crazy kinda year for me, and that is most likely an understatment. I guess like every year I've had ups and downs. Mountians and valleys of life we like to call them. Many things have shaped my outlook on life in a new way over the past year.

I lost a someone in my life who I had grown to think of as a close and dear friend. Needless to say, it left me bruised, and wounded in ways I hadn't felt in a long time. Instead of giving into the desire to grow bitter and resentful, I have learned that life is best lived with your heart wide open, knowing full well that living that way gives people a chance to hurt you. At the end of the day, I'd rather be hurt than not risk at all.

The loss of Gabe Brewer at RSC impacted me in ways I never expected. I didn't even know him that well, but to witness a church be the hands and feet of Jesus during such a tragedy left me awe struck at the willingness of the human spirit to offer love, hope, and compassion, in the most difficult of times.

We meet Brad's biological father in Nov. 09. What most astounded me about the entire situation was God's timing. He worked everything out, in his time. Of course his plans are always better than our own.

I began homeschooling our kids this year. This experience more than any other has impacted me the most this past year. Number one, I learned that I can in fact do the impossible.....be with my kids 24/7 and not loose my mind. What I have learned about the "debate" (homeschool vrs public school) is that people are really misinformed about the other side of the issue. Public schools are not the enemy. There are really great teachers out there who love children and consider it a very high and responsible calling to teach them. And not all homeschool parents are "fundementalists" or wear skirts and long hair. Homeschooled kids are very normal, and public school is not the devil.

So on my 32nd birthday, I feel overwhelmed with life, yes.....but confident that HIS mercies are new every morning. And no matter what may come, HE is on my side, calling me to live life to the fullest. Not to waste a moment of time, HIS time. To love with open arms, and not to close them to tight when I get hurt.