This is the newest member of the family: Butterscotch, the horse.

He is all boy!!!

backstory: Baylee and Brennan share a room together. From time to time Brennan will play with Baylee's toys. There is a certain baby doll he has claimed as his own. He will snuggle with it, tuck it in at nap time and such.....

Tonight when we were getting ready for bed and I asked him to go and get his baby. He walks over to it and looks at me and says, "no baby......car...." he picks up the car and goes "vroom, vroom" all over the place. I just had to laugh....that proves that he is all boy, men all over the world have been saying "no baby....car, go vroom, vroom" since the beginning of time......

For Heidi

This is my fav. Taylor Swift song. It is not a Christmas song, but I love it. It just reminds me to see things through the eyes of my children and remember what childhood is like for them. I can't listen to it without crying. Go to playlist.com and take a listen.

I'm five years old
It's getting cold out
Got my big coat on

I hear your laugh
And look up at smilin at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch
And the tractor rides
Look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs
And fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm 13 now
And don't know how
My friends could be so mean
I come home crying
And you hold me tight
And grab the keys

And we drive and drive
Unil we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop
Til i forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughin
On the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father
His strengh is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out
He's better than I am

I grew up in a pretty house
And I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found
From back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen
And you're talkin to me
It's the age of princesses and priate ships
And the seven dwarves
My Daddy's smart
And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

Now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side
Even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine

And I didn't know if you knew
So I'm takin this chance to say
I had the best day with you today

Happy Birthday, my sweet girl!!!!

I can't believe my girl is 6 years old today. I remember feeling so anxious about having a daughter when I was pregnant with her. I mean, I've always been a tomboy myself and God knows I still can't fix my own hair, so what in the world would I do with bows and dresses, and not to forget the endless pairs of shoes to color coorninate with the outfits....does it ever end. NO, look at my own closet.....even a tomboy must have matching boots ya know...anyway. When they brought Baylee to me after my surgery and I held her I just cried and cried. She was so beautiful. All of my fears where put to ease. She was only a baby and she just needed love like any other baby. And love her I did.

A Labor of Love

I had to share this story, I knew other Moms who happen to read from time to time would understand and laugh (or cry) with me.

So.......Baylee has been saving up her $$ all year to buy butterscotch (a HUGE horse). I mean when she gets $$ for allowance, from grandparents, whatever, she has been putting it back all year to buy this horse. I FINALLY found one for less than $250.00 on craigslist. Her birthday is coming up, and I bought it for her. It would take her three years or more to save all that $$. I bring this thing home (he is massive, I have a feeling Brennnan will be a cowboy everyday)....so I had a thought, I'll redecorate her room for her birthday with horse decor.....so I shop, and shop, and shop some more to find all the perfect stuff that she'd like. I never found everything I wanted. Well I can't redecorate without cleaning out all her old stuff too. After two bags of trash, (I hate McD's happy meal toys, I think they multiply when your not watching), one pile of goodwill stuff and injuries only football players get, I'm done.....her room is so cute, she slept downstairs last night, so we are going to go check out the strange noises coming from her room in a bit.

Now for the football injury......I have my own system going, this pile here and that pile there. Its a mess, but its my mess and I know what everything is. My dog, Casey wanted in on all the action so he is in there too. I go to step over a pile and realize I'm going to step on him so I moved my leg and it ended up in a box, well the box wasn't going to support my big self and it gave way and fell over, it took me down with it. I landed on my left side, my upper jaw hit the edge of a very strong storage box, I have a huge bruise on the side of my face, I think I may have dislocated my shoulder (at the very least its got some major deep tissue bruising) and my hip that gave me so much trouble when I was carrying Brennan is killing me. At 12:30 am, the fight was over and I had won. For a moment there I thought the room might win and the Mom team might concede, but I didn't......I'd attach pics but my digital camera lens is broken so I'm having to use old school 35mm.....and it doesn't upload :(

School's Out!!!!!!!!!! HOO RA!!!

This is the first time in my adult life I have wished for a "snow day" for selfish reasons. Really, if your going to work outside the home, there is no better job than working in the school system. Where else do you get snow days, Christmas break and the summer off.....I love it.

ok, enough about my job, I have visions of snowmen in my head, followed by endless cups of hot chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!

my silly girl

Baylee comes and sits down beside me today and leans her head into my shoulder....this is the conversation that follows....

Baylee "Mom, what happens if I don't find the perfect man"
Mom (after taking a moment to do a double take at what just came out of my daughters mouth)....."honey...why do you need to find the perfect man???" (trying to ask questions to find out what in the world is going on in that head of hers)
Baylee....."so I can get married"
Mom........"why do you want to get married and find the perfect man"
Baylee......"well, you did"
Mom........(not knowing if I should laugh or cry)....."I did?"
Baylee......"yes, Daddy!!!" (like duh)
Mom......."so why is getting married so important"
Baylee....."because I want to know what its like"
Mom.......(shuttering at what might come out next) "what being married is like?"
Baylee...."yea, you know the flowers and the cake, you get that whole big cake like you and Daddy did and all those flowers....I just wanna know what its like when you find the perfect man and get all that cake"....

.....its all about the cake and flowers, baby!, and I'm fine if she continues to believe that until she is like ummm....30."

Neal says, "I'm king of the haystack".....

Cowgirls

A moment in time on a Saturday morning, we were real cowgirls. Don't believe me, just ask Baylee. She'd be happy to tell you all about it.

What a cutie!

OHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! the wonderful thing about tiggers are tiggers are wonderful things, the tops are made out of rubber, the bottoms are made out of springs....ha....you get the idea.....

hands down, the best tigger ever!

Best Job ever

After three pregnancies, countless hours of lost sleep, my body makeover (not the kind you see on TV), oatmeal on my floor, spilled juice on my table. After a few years of that you'd think being a Mom is for the birds. BUT none of that compares to holding my baby while he sleeps in my arms, watching my daughter sing her favorite song to her puppies as she tucks them in at night, hearing the words "no Mom I can do it myself" and then realizing they can.

If there is something God is teaching me lately it is that my kids are not my own. I have been entrusted with them for a time, but they are their own person. What a privilege it is for me to watch these kids grow and change and have such a major role in the development of their life. I know I may be a little biased but these are the best kids on earth, and I am blessed beyond words to be called, "Mommy".

Learning to let go is hard, but watching them fly is amazing!

oh, the wonder of friendship

Since Brad went back to work (and can't be full time Mr. Mom anymore) Heidi has been caring for our little guy a couple of times a week while I work. So Wednesday was his first day back since we have been on fall break. The scene plays out like this:

We pull up in Heidi's drive way and get out of the van. He starts to clap! Cute enough, but the next thing he did was a tear jerker, at least for Mom. I say, "are you happy to be at ms. heidi's house"....to which he responds, "numhykehdiehka (baby talk only he knows), Dawson." As clear as day he said the name of his very first friend. How precious is that? I know he missed ms. heidi, but I think Dawson wins the contest for "most excited to see". ha...

oh wait

I think I'm was told to "tag" someone else.....ha.....I forgot.

Ok....Amy, Erin, MaryKate, now go to your pic folder and post the #6 photo.

I was tagged

This is the #6 pic in my folder. ha....I miss blonde hair, oh well, I'm sure I'll change back at some point.

Lessons

Brad and I spent three years on the campus of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. We had the privilage to sit under such well respected people such as Dr. Cook, our pastor, Professor of New Testiment and Dr. Stinson, our sunday school teacher, Director on Counsil of Biblical Manhood and Womenhood. These men taught us so much about life and faith and digging into the truth of God's word.

However, the greatest lesson for me was taught in the stairwell of Village Manor Apts. You see it is there that we meet our best friends. We were neighbors, and we became family. We are leaving tomorrow to see them for a few days. We are SO excited!

Soccer game

Until yesterday Neal's soccer team was undefeated. They lost 2-1. Neal did a great job though despite the loss. He made several blocks.

New blog site

So I got all fired up about abortion (the ugly truth of it), and a legislation bill a few weeks ago. Not thinking things through, my son Neal, has access to our blog and read it all. Afterwards he was very upset about people killing babies and people hurting children. So, I am starting my own personal blog that he won't have access to. It's really more for me, I'm just making the brave choice to share it with whoever wishes to read it. I just really like to write about life, and its view from the road I'm on. So only pictures and stories about our family will appear on this blog. All of my other rants and opinions will be on the other one....ha!

www.walkindowntheroad.blogspot.com

Keith Urban

We went to see Keith Urban last night, (me and Pooh, Brad had to work) at the Opry here in Nashville. It was great! The neat thing about the Opry is that they will let you come to the stage at anytime and take as many pictures as you want. So the whole time he was performing I was doing just that. I got some really good shots. He is an amazing musician.

What fun!

Why do we need a jungle gym when we have a Dad?

I cherish moments like this when the fun and the laughter take over and the worries of the world fade away.

Yum....

This was too cute not to share!

WARNING....A LONG RANT

This is nuts. I'm outraged! It seems as if the world has lost its mind, so to speak. I look around and it just seems that everything is falling apart. People have lost all common sense.

For to long I have been apathetic. I've just sat by and watched the world fall apart and not done anything about it. I have to make a confession. Until two weeks ago, I stood against abortion. One might think that is a good thing (and it is), but I didn't stand against it because I was informed. I stood against it b/c it was expected of me in a sense. I am after all "an evangelical christian". But on the inside I was almost sympathetic to the other sides argument. Babies growing up without homes, unwanted, unloved, often times abused by those who didn't want them in the first place. Wouldn't it be better to just end the life of the child before it had to experience the horrors of what was ahead? At least that is what I told myself, trying to give the other side some compassion and understanding. Yea, well no more! I'm informed. I watched a video on abortion, abortion procedures, clinics, nurses...you name it. The video was not biased. It didn't play sides, it was just informative. After seeing it, I'm truly disgusted by those who think this treatment of unborn children is ok, or that it is a "right". I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING". The video showed (at each stage of an abortion, including 40 weeks gestation) what a baby looked like after it was killed. OUTRAGE, I tell you. People who think this is the "right" of the women to choose are cold blooded killers. Brains are sucked out, while the baby is kicking uncontrollably, limbs are torn off and thrown in the dumpster as waste, and much more.

So this is my new position: If you don't want a baby don't have sex! It's really pretty simple. Be a responsible member of society. Even in the case of rape I don't think you should be allowed to take anothers life because someone violated yours. If you don't want a baby, can't love the baby, give it up to someone who does have love to offer.

Then I read this blog on Dr. Mohler's commentary (President of Southern Seminary) and I'm sitting there with my jaw dropped going "Really, now this".....Now its ok to kill the old people too. My friend and I were just talking about this yesterday. It's scary to think that people are really pushing this kind of agenda on the general public. A link to the article is below. I know....after reading this longggggg....rant you don't want to read another one, but its worth it. We should be informed of the things headed our way.

http://www.albertmohler.com/blog_read.php?id=2542

WhewWho......

Brad is back at work today. He has been off since July 16th for shoulder surgery. God has used this time to teach us both many things. To many to mention in a blog. None the less we are very thankful that Brad returned to work today. Three weeks earlier than most shoulder surgery patients.

I am home with two sick children today (Neal & Brennan) and one child (guess who) that is very upset that her brothers are sick and what that means for her. All day at home! No church and no church picnic to go to. Maybe we'll go outside, do a bible lesson and have a snack. Think that will be church and a picnic for her????

New Info. (my mistake)

OK....so I admit I didn't do my research very well. Totally my fault. I trusted Oprah, seriously I should know better! I mean come on, anyway. There is a ton of wasteful spending attached to this bill 1738 and there are no plans to give it any funding next year. It's just a political game, as with most things in Washington these days. Apparently, there is another bill introduced by John McCain that has no wasteful earmarks, pet projects, and anything of the sort included. It is called S.3344 Protecting Our Children from Internet Exploitation Act and the SAFE act. It is basically the original bill without all of the "extras" added by Democrats. Like 10 million to study the DNA of apes....please. Bill S. 3344 passed in the house only lacking 2 votes, but was killed in the Democratic Senate as to not give any credit to McCain for offering an alternative bill with a better budget and better policies. I guess bill 1738 is my only option thinks to the Senate's poor leadership in this area. As of today, I still support it b/c you have to start somewhere. I would rather be moving towards something than continuing to not move at all on this issue. Hopefully, McCain/Palin will be our next leaders in this country and will keep their campaign promises to "reform" Washington. Although, system is so corrupt at this point it will be next to impossible. But I will hold out for hope none the less.

So...sorry for the confusion. I am passionate about this cause, and I firmly believe there should be more government legislation to combat the millions of abused children in this country. Children who as young as 1 month old are being brutally attacked, video taped and sent around the world to be seen my millions. I could continue to rant, but I won't.

Get the facts, and not from Oprah (learn from me) and get involved to save our children.

Make a call....PLEASE

OK....so I'll try and make this brief. I promise.

When we moved to TN I joined a group called PROTECT (www.protect.org) They fight for government change to make laws tougher for child predators and child molesters. The group is VERY bi-partisan and the only social issue they engage in is speaking for the rights of the victims of sexual assault and/or exploitation. It is their main focus and purpose to change the laws in this land to reflect an attitude of accountability and justice of those who prey upon innocent children.

Recently, Camille Cooper, who is the director of Legislative Affairs has proposed a bill to the Senate that would allow more government funding to monitor and bring to justice these types of criminals. In the bill, detectives would be assigned to do nothing but track down and bring charges against pedophiles. As of now, most law enforcement offices do not have the resources to provide that kind of staffing. The bill would make that possible. OK.....I am not in the habit of telling people to watch Oprah (yes, its a cult, no I don't subscribe), but this time I am. Officials from Protect will be on the Oprah show Monday Sept. 15th. If you want to be more informed you can watch the show, or go to the Protect website and find out more info. on the bill.

The best thing you can do is call your State Senator office and request that they pass this bill. If they get enough calls, they'll pay attention. DO NOT be apathetic (please) and think that you can't make a difference.....to quote a great document....'We the people'.....yes you can make a difference, so please do.

I've taken the time to give you the phone numbers and address of your State Senators so that step is done for you.....you'll just need to pick up the phone. This is a great organization to work with/for if this cause is a passion for you.

Blessings your way, and much love from me.......Brandi :)
The name of the bill is Protect Our Children Act S. 1738, Biden-Hatch

TN

Lamar Alexander
455 Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
202.224.4944

Bob Corker
185 Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
202.224.3344

KY

Jim Bunning
316 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
202.224.4343

Mitch McConnell
361-A Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
202.224.2541

kids say the darnest things

I took this pic of Baylee the morning of her first day of school. She has NEVER been a morning person! She likes to sleep in and she is the hardest person to wake up on the planet. This morning Brad went upstairs to get her up for school. She turns over and pulls the covers back up over her and says, "leave me alone while I'm in my natural habitat"......that alone is proof enough that she is my daughter!

This evening while putting her to bed, we were reading her devotional for the day and it was about Jesus dying. I asked her, "honey, do you know why Jesus died", she says....."so that we could live"......I remember the verse, "and a child shall lead them"....I so needed to hear that today. He died so we could live, AMEN, Baylee. As my best friend, Erin would say, "preach it, sister"

awe....

When I leave in the morning with the kids I usually stop at the door while Brad and Brennan send us off. I'll kiss Brad and say "have a good day, babe" and I'll kiss Brennan and say "love you, buddy".........this morning we were running a bit behind schedule, the kids and I were in a mad dash out the door when Brennan comes running around the corner (he had been in the bathroom trying to brush his hair....lol), just in time to catch me and says, (I kid you not)...."ha uh goo da"......can't get much sweeter than that!

New things

Brennan is in full toddler mode these days. We went to O'Charley's for lunch one day and he is big enough to order his own plate. He looks thrilled about it, and he was.

Baylee's new favorite thing is her cowboy hat. She wears it all the time. Its so cute.

Neal is not into anything new these days. He has read five separate chapter books since school has started. And he has told me that he and his friends are starting a rock band together. We can't wait to hear the music. His latest favorite band is Guns N Roses (ok....only those songs that have been approved from Mom and Dad first....Paradise City and Knockin on Heaven's Door is about all they like, Baylee likes Sweet Child of Mine too)....anywho....

Thats all for now. No new updates on the adults. Brad gets to go back to work in three weeks (hopefully, if all goes well), and I am slowly getting used to the new work schedule for me. I work with really nice people, and that helps a lot. Brennan and Brad have had lots of male bonding time at home while I'm at work (that means they've wrestled a lot....ha) and I like being right next door to the kids school. I have some extra time in the morning to hang out with them at school before the day starts and they really like that.

Ha

37 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor Take the test!

I had a feeling I might fail the test....ha. Ummmm....lets see.
Prepares well balanced meals for her family.....(are french fries still a vegetable?)
Greets her husband with a smile.....(does it count if its fake?)
Wears nightgown to cook in......(what else do you fix breakfast in?)

I had such a good laugh at these questions......

Baylee's first day

Baylee had her first day of Kindergarten today. She did great! She had a picture she had made for her new teacher and she was not at all shy about giving it to her. She gave her teacher a hug, and the look on Baylee's face was priceless. She went right to her seat and started on her puzzle. I kissed her goodbye, and turned to leave, it wasn't until then that the water works started! My little girl, growing up....Its one of the hardest things as a parent, watching your child learn how to fly, and hoping you've given them enough flying lessons to keep them safe when it starts to storm. OK.....no mushy stuff, I'll cry again! ugh....

Neal's first day

This was Neal's first day of 4th grade. His teacher this year is Ms. McCall. We are very excited about his 4th grade year, and all that it will bring.

Just a few pics we have taken lately of the kids. The middle one is Neal's new friend, Walker. He and his family are new to TN., we hope they like it and stick around for a while.

Our day

We have had a very hectic week to say the least. We've all been going 90 miles an hour, and by Friday we were all running on empty. I started a new job, Neal went back to school, Brad has been taking care of Baylee and Brennan (with only one arm), and oh, Karate, small group, Dr. appts, Physical therapy, just to name a few extras. So by Friday we were all done, and ready for the weekend, only one problem.....we had plans the next day too! So this is what I did, I made some phone calls and cleared my calender for the entire weekend. Saturday morning comes and we load up the kids, the bikes, the stroller, and the dog.....head out to the park and just enjoy the day together. The kids had a great time riding one of the nearby bike trails at Sharp Springs Park in Smyrna. It was a beautiful day to be outdoors and it gave us all the break we needed. Later that night after dinner, we all snuggled up and watched a movie together. OK....confession time, I ran back and forth between the bedroom where the movie was playing and the living room where CNN was on to watch bits of the Rick Warren lead "civil forum". The movie and my family was much more interesting, I promise.

Baylee starts her first day of Kindergarten tomorrow. We are all very excited for her. I hope I don't cry a river in the morning, and if I do, I hope I remembered to get waterproof mascara.

Hats off!!!!!!!!!!!

My hats off to working mothers everywhere. I'm not even kidding. You people amaze me. I don't know how you do it, but please let me know what the secret is.

I started my first day at Stewarts Creek Middle today. I had been there before, but only to do inventory, stock, meetings, things like that. Today the students were there, and I remembered what it was like to work (outside the home anyway). When we were in Louisville I had a part time job on campus, but then I only had two kids, now I have three and its a whole new ballgame.

I'm going to go and ice my wrist and put heat on my back. I'm pitiful, really I am, I can admit it freely! My body is wondering what happened today, its in shock! As soon as my body catches up, I'll be good to go, I just hope it doesn't take to long.

Amazing

I am just overwhelmed at the love, support and encouragement we have received from people over the last few weeks. Our friends and family have been amazing. Our church family have brought us meals, grocries, and even taken our trash to the dump for us. My Mom came down over the weekend and took the kids school shopping, something I didn't know if we'd get to do or not.

I'm truly honored to know these people and I'm so blessed that I get to call them all, friend. Thanks everyone.

Childlike faith

We subscribe to this magazine, "Voice of the Martyrs". Its about persecuted Christians around the world, and what we can do to help. So Neal sees this lying on the Kitchen table tonight, and the headline is "Illegal Christians in China". This was the conversation that followed.

NEAL: Why are there illegal Christians in China?
MOM: Because the government in that country does not allow people to become Christians, so it is illegal. They put you in jail if they find out that you serve Christ.
NEAL: Well, that's not right, we should do something about that.

The conversation carried on about how people are in fact doing something about that, and how the God of Heaven's Armies (I love that phrase in Scripture) is on our side to stand and fight on our behalf for his kingdom.

But the part of the conversation I loved the most was what I wrote down above. I think that must be what Christ meant when he said, "we must have the faith like that of a child". Neal didn't look at the problem and say, its too big, or how will we do it. He just said, "its not right, lets change it".....I love that.

A funny story!

Just thought I'd share this so everyone could laugh with me (not at me). I am so tired these days. I mean really tired. My best friend works third shift and has three kids, I don't see how she does it. My hats off to you, girlfriend! Me on the other hand, can't manage to think very clearly these days. Most nights I get to bed sometime between 1 and 3 am, then the kids are up at 7ish...Baylee and Neal can fix a bowl of cereal themselves, but Brennan bear can't really get his own breakfast at this point. So this morning we are getting up, I stumble to the kitchen to try and start the day (hey, I think that is a line in a sad country song...). Neal tells me he wants cereal so I get out a bowl, and get the cereal...he gets his spoon and sits down. If Mom is up already, why get it yourself! I also get out a coffee cup to fix myself some hot chocolate. (I gave up coffee a few months back, but I'm thinking a relapse is in order)....so I have the coffee cup, hot cocoa mix, milk, a bowl, cereal........I pour the cereal in the cup, and then start to add the milk. I stop because something just doesn't look right, but I can't figure out what it is. I shake my head and move on. I start to pour the milk in the bowl, and then add the cocoa mix, and it dawns to me as I'm trying to figure out how to drink my hot cocoa out of a bowl, that something has gone horribly wrong....

It was a sad start to the day, I just sat down and laughed at myself and fixed the mess I'd made so Neal wouldn't have to eat his cereal from a coffee cup. Somehow, its much funnier telling the story then it was living it out at 7am.....I'm laughing so hard tears are running down my cheeks.....laugh with me so I don't feel so silly!

Proud momma!

How did I ever get so lucky.

Love shown

Today Chelle came over, and brought us a meal. She also informed me that she has organized meals for us over the next week or so. This is such a huge help to our family right now. The kindness from our church family is so appreciated. Not only did Chelle do all this, but before she left she offered to take my trash to the dump for us (no automatic trash service in the county, we take ours to the dump ourselves, and like the chicken that I am, I'm afraid to drive Brad's truck, its a 5 speed...yikes). Taking my trash was above and beyond the call of friendship. Its not often you'll find a person that says, "hey, just dump your trash in my truck, I'll take it for you".....thanks Chelle for everything. It was an enormus blessing.

Carrie was right, get the Kleenex before you watch

I stole this from my friend, Carrie, over at threegirlcircus. I don't think she'd mind. This was the most amazing testimony sharing event I've ever seen. I think every church should do "alter call" this way. Like an AA event, Hello, my name is Brandi, and I'm a sinner saved by grace, welcome to our church. LOL

My message could read a ton of things....

church pretender.....being real with others
childhood abuse.....by his stripes, I've been healed
addicted to alcohol......set free by grace
separated from husband.....marriage restored

I could go on and on. This was just a beautiful testiment to his goodness and his grace. I love it. Thanks Carrie for sharing.

Update on Brad

Well, surgery is over and now the healing process begins. Brad had a rough time in recovery, and a rough time getting home. All is better now, well as better as it can be. He is in a lot of pain, understandably so. His pain meds work great, but you can only take so many of those. We found a recliner on craigslist really cheap, and bought it yesterday. He slept much better last night! The kids have been great. They were a little concerned when he came home and wasn't feeling well. I don't really think they knew what to expect. Brennan was afraid of him for the first day or so, which absolutly broke Brad's heart. Brad has a really big sling on and a electric ice pack as well, it was a little intimidating for Brennan. We have turned off our home phone (bracing for the tightest budget ever), so if anyone needs to call, call the cell phones.

New things

God has been revealing himself to us this week in a lot of ways. I wanted to take a minute a share them here.

-We found out that our insurance will cover almost all of Brad's surgery. We will be left with very little out of pocket expense.

-Our pool is still working. I know that may sound minor, but to us its huge!

-I have been praying for a job that would allow me to be around for the kids (so that the adjustment would go smoother for them). God has given me two. Be careful what you wish for! The first one is at the middle school next to the kids elementary school from 8-2 M-F.....so I'll drop the kids off at school, go to work, pick them up, come home. The schedule couldn't be any better for us. I will not need to worry about childcare for Bren as of yet. Brad will be home for a while, and when the time comes he'll only need childcare a few days a week. The other is working as an MT with the company my aunt works for, RC Transcription Services. Its all from home. She'll send me my work, I do it and send it back to her. I can do this a few hours a night after the kids are in bed.

-Pooh was on her way to Nashville to stay with the kids while Brad is in surgery. She is staying the rest of the week I think to help out. Anyway, her tire blew out on the interstate, next to a semi.....and she and her car are both fine.

-Neal has made new friends this week. He went to their house to play today and had a great time.

-Brad and I went to Tom's house this evening to work on some songs I had written. It was great to hear my words put to music. Tom and Katie are both very talented. We had a great time, lots of fun. Katie's songs were great and they even sent us home with zucchini bread. It doesn't get much better than that.

So........we are full of praises to our God for hearing our prayers and blessing our week. We'd be full of praises anyway. In fact, some of the best times of worship in my life have come from the valley, not the mountain. But its so good to celebrate the victories he has given us this week. As Chris, our pastor, would say...."God's just showin' off"......I'm grateful to be a recipient.

Brad goes in for surgery at 7am......please continue to pray for us and for our family during all this. I so appreciate all the love and encouragement from everyone. Love to all.........

Life right now

Its good to have all of us back together. We have been swimming in our pool all week. FINALLY! After many battles it seems we have won!

Life is very stressful these days. Brad's surgery is next Wednesday. He is dreading it (me too). The kids are concerned. About what I'm not sure, but anytime Mom and Dad are stressed I think they just pick it up. I am looking for a part time or full time job in the meantime to cover the expenses while Brad is off. That stresses me out in a million ways. Its not that I mind to work. Heck, most days a job would be a break from being with three kids all day. Seriously, going somewhere to do something constructive, and I hear they even give lunch breaks, coffee breaks, sounds good to me. I have worked off and on the entire time we have been married. When our circumstances have allowed it, (and I praise God that he has allowed me to be home, I understand some circumstances require us to not be) I have been home with the kids. We have had to go without some things, new cars, new clothes, and such, but its been worth every sacrifice we have made. I have put my own ambitions on hold (i.e. finishing college, a career, ect...) to be home with my kids. We have both always believed that they should be our first priority when it comes to decisions like that. Its honestly not been hard to give it up, or put it on hold. Children grow so fast and I'll never get this time back. I pray the transition goes well for them. It will definitely be an adjustment for all of us. God is good, and I have no doubt he will provide and care for our family. I pray that during this time our family would see more clearly that without his provisions for us, we would be lost completely without any hope. We are not without hope. We serve a God who owns "the cattle on a thousand hills".....or "a thousand cattle on the hills" (yea, scripture memorization not my strongest suit...LOL)....either way, I'm banking on the fact that he'll see fit to send us one soon, surely with a thousand he could spare one!

"he is good, all the time and all the time, he is good"

Homecoming

So Neal comes home today. I have missed him so much. I realize he is at that age when he needs to spread his wings and fly a little. Its so hard to let go. I think your first born is even harder. As parents we love our children the same, and would lay down our life for any one of them. However, your first born just holds a special spot. When Neal asks me "why am I special to you", I of course have a million reasons why, but one of them is because he made me a Mommy. I walked into this whole trip of motherhood when the test said, positive almost ten years ago. What a trip its been, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Ok......off the computer and on to go pick up Neal.

My best book list

Inspired by another blog I read today I decided to list some of my best books. Not just good books, but ones that have really changed me. Books that were instrumental in my growth as a Christian, a Mom, a wife and everything in between.

The top "book" would have to be the Bible (duh). That's a post for another day. It would take more writing than I'm in the mood for at the moment.

"Road to Reality" (can't remember the author now)........what I learned most from this book was that if churches really cared about spreading the gospel and loving people, would we spend 10,000 on a new piano (when the other worked fine) or would we send out missionaries or feed the hungry. It hit home to me about how out of balance my own priorities were.

"Waking the Dead" by John Eldridge.........This was one of the first books I read after becoming a Christian. Oddly enough, after I got saved I found myself hating church. Mind you, I had "played" church for a long time. But when I got saved (gave my life to Christ for real) I was so happy and free and I loved life. And when I'd go to church, I'd look around at all these people who looked bored to tears, lead sad lives, and never got excited about anything (in church at least).......this book helped me to see how Satan steals our joy and it opened my eyes to the way he tries to keep God's church captive and not effective in the world.

"Captivating" by Staci Eldridge..........This book gave me freedom to be a women. The best chapter was when she talked about being at rest in Christ. She talked of a lady whom she knew that made her so comfortable just by being in her presence. She was a women who knew who she was and who she was not. She was comfortable in her own skin. She wasn't pretending to have it all together, she didn't wear the mask......ah....I wanted to be that women. I love this book.

"Mother Teresa" a biography............she is my hero to this day. Her life was amazing. To live a life with no possessions, free from the love of "stuff", taking care of the out casts of the world. Her faith and her courage inspires me still. My fav quote by her, "poverty is not being hungry, or homeless, true poverty is being unloved, unwanted, and lonely" its so true.

"Yesterday, I Cried" by Inyala Vanzant...........she is very "new age" and believes a little bit of everything. Her book is her own life account of the abuse she endured as a child. It was the first book I read that let me know I was not alone in my struggles to overcome my past. She writes a poem in the beginning of the book. The last line of the poem reads......."today I cried.....I cried a soulful cry today......today I cried with an agenda, because today, freedom has come"......sends goose bumps up my spine to this day.

"Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning (yes that is where we got Brennan's name)..........Its an account of his journey out of alcohol addiction. Its a powerful story of sin and redemption, and the power of a grace filled life.

there are many, many more great books I've read, but these are at the top for sure. I'm currently reading "Age of Opportunity" by Paul David Tripp. His brother wrote, "Shepherding a Child's Heart" which honestly I didn't care for. Age of Opportunity is about parenting through the teen years, but can be applied to any age I think. Its a good book. The best parenting book I've read has been, "Parenting with Grace and Truth" by Cloud & Townsend. Not life changing for me, but some great parenting advice.

Our trip to the zoo

The playgroud is massive. The kids loved it.

Baylee loved feeding the birds.

We caught the elephants at bath time.

We got to watch the baby alligators being feed. YIKES!

More of the playground. And yes, there is even more I didn't get pics of. Like I said, massive!
We will be back many times before summer is over.

yuck

Feeling blahhhhhh today. Brennan is not feeling well, Baylee is bored, Neal is gone to spend some time with family, and Brad is at work. Brad and Neal went fishing overnight with Brad's cousin, Jeremy at KY Lake on Friday, then Brad took him to my Dad's house to spend some time with family this week. Its killing me honestly. I miss Neal like crazy and worry about him even more. Its hard letting go. Neal will be ten next year and I know its time (past time) that he make some of his own decisions and stand on his own two feet a bit, but its still hard to let go. So when he wanted to go visit some family this week I said, "sure". Now I'm fighting the urge to call and check on him every hour. Baylee and I have done every "girl time" thing under the sun. We've painted nails, fixed each others hair, "camped out" in my bedroom, had a tea party (yes a real one, well as real as you can get without getting out the china and dressing up LOL), planned a picnic, went swimming. I'm in for a very long week!!!!! and oh....Brennan has a small case of chicken pox. Its a sad rant, I know.........."be prayerful in all things"..........I pray that the kids would take a nap and I could go back to sleep. Maybe there is hope for the day yet!!!!

Happy Birthday Ms. Jobi, Happy Birthday to you!

top row: Kelly, Jobi, Carli (Kelly's daughter) Janet. bottom: me & Baylee, MaryKate, MaryKate's grandmother, Louise I think is her name (sorry if I get it wrong)!

We surprised Jobi with a birthday lunch today. Its her 21st! Jobi is just an amazing young lady. She has such a heart for people, and it shows in her kindness and thoughtfulness towards others. More than that she has a heart for the Lord and for people to come to know him. I consider myself blessed to call her, friend! Our lives are richer for knowing her.

Thanks, Katilyn & Brandie for babysitting children today! It was a huge help.

Kid Swap

So last week, I drove to Lagrange, KY to swap kids with my friend, Erin. Neal stayed at her house and had some time with his friend, John. Elijah came this way with us. We traded back yesterday. Baylee and Eli had a great time, though there were the occasional battle of the wills. Who could break Mom first seemed to be the theme of the day on Friday. Saturday I had won. Although it wasn't without some weeping and gnashing of teeth, done mostly by me. We went to our church's VBS event on Saturday morning. The above pic is craft time. They made turtles.
Baylee and her own personal "American Idol", Miss Katlyn. She is Baylee's hero. Although Miss Jobi comes in a close 2nd. Some days its a tie.
Before swimming in our "big" pool. Elijah was excited about it until he realized it was deep water and he couldn't touch. Then he proceeded to give me claw marks unless I held him extra close. After a few fun games of shark attack, he decided he could have much more freedom if I backed off a little. Then, I just let go (mind you, he had a float on the whole time) and he was so proud of himself to be swimming all alone in deep water. He immediately called home to Erin and Gary and told them of his big accomplishment.
His victory was short lived. After about 10 min. of playing in deep water he began to get nervous again. The fun slowed down and it was as if he remembered he couldn't touch all over again. So not wanting to get clawed another time, we opted for the little pool.
This is Brennan at the VBS event Saturday morning. He had a good time too. He was all smiles and laughs. For some strange reason, he seemed to think Shelby (our youth pastor at church) was cool (just kidding Shelby) and hung out with him for a long time. Fine by me, by the way. Anytime spent with another person means my back gets a break from our boy, who is on his way to outgrowing me.

It was a good time had by all. We might not get to see our best friends for a while. Gas prices are killing all of us. We enjoyed the visit while it lasted. It always ends to soon. For the most part it was Erin and I taking care of six kids alone. Brad and Gary had to work, ya know. We decided that next time it needs to be an adult only trip. Ok.....just us girls next time. Girls retreat to the beach sounds great to me. Hey, a girl has to have dreams.

So I'm learning

It all started when MaryKate (we miss you guys) suggested in our small group that we share our testimonies with each other. In an effort to be real and transparent and draw close to each other, our small group leader thought it was a great idea. We did to. Brad and I have longed for a church that was real. Not a perfect church, a real church. So.....as the story goes....I start off thinking it was great until I realized it was our turn to share, then I thought, "crap", now I have to be the one to share. I have to practice what I preach so to speak. LOL And we did. We shared our testimony with our group. All the ugly parts and all the grace filled moments God has lavished on us. Our small group was so encouraging to us. I mean you never know with Christian "folk" how your story will be received and I have to admit I was a bit nervous. Our story is not the typical, "I grew up in church and God is good", its more like, "life has been hard, we've stood at the gates of hell, God is great". All of the members of our group were bold and courageous in sharing their own stories and struggles, and I am blessed to call them friends. I wrote a song out of all that and Tom, our music minister is going to help me put it to music later this summer. The title is "I'm not who I once was" something Chris said after we all shared our stuff together. He said in a prayer, "thank you, Lord that we are not who we once were, but we are not yet what we were meant to be".......ah.....that was beautiful to me and a song came out of it. So I say all that to say this.......its not so much that I struggle with my own story anymore. I have made peace with my past and I don't ask God those "why" questions anymore. I stand in freedom and its a great place to be. The question I find myself asking God is, "why all the human suffering" I mean its awful. Starvation, rape, war, mothers and children being killed and kidnapped, children as young as three being sold into sex slavery. ugh.....its just overwhelming the condition of our world. So on my quest to answer these questions, I began reading. And reading a lot. I read C.S. Lewis, "The problem of pain", read some Mother Teresa stuff, read every systematic theology book I could get my hands on, lots and lots of reading. It wasn't until I read "The True Condition of Man" by Paul Washer (or its titled "the doctrine of man") that the light bulb went on for me. I was asking the wrong question. Instead of asking why all the bad stuff happens and why there is so much suffering, the question should be asked, why does anything good ever happen. Seriously, we are a cursed race, a cursed planet. (Gen 2 & 3). We are enemies of God from birth by the mere fact that we are human. Yes, we are created in his image and I believe all that, but scripture is clear about the fact that until we come to know Christ, we are God's enemies and under his wrath and judgement. When the angels sinned and rebelled in heaven, God did not (as far as we know) make a way for them to be redeemed. However, for us, pitiful as we are, Jesus bleed and died on a cross to save my sorry butt. A cursed human on her way to hell. I stand amazed. God didn't have to do that, he could have sent us all to hell and we would have deserved it, we do deserve it. I do not understand and never will that kind of love and mercy. So suffering will come, its to be expected, Satan hates us and he is prince of this world. But Christ has overcome sin and death, and offers freedom and hope. As Christians we have to find our part in the story, and ask God where he wants us to spread the freedom and hope in our own lives. I thank God that he showed me this. So now when I see something good happen in the world, I know God has a hand in it and when I see human suffering it makes me hate our enemy even more. An enemy that seeks to destroy us, in lots of different ways. Anything that takes the creation of God and turns it into a display of evil he delights in. I am reminded of a song:

oh, praise the one who paid my debt
and raised this life up from the dead.
(repeat)
Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe
sin have left a crimson stain
he washed it white as snow

That is all for now. Its 2am and I have a house full of kids to care for in the morning. Hopefully, I'll be able to spread some hope around this place in a few hours. It needs a fresh dosage of hope these days. Brad's class has one more week. I do thank God for his provision, but I'm also honest with God (cause he can take it), I'm glad the path to getting that provision is almost over.
Goodnight all!

Bren's New World

After 16 (16!!!!!!!!!!!) long months of waiting and watching, our Brennan Bear, has taken off. He is walking all over the place now. It started last week with a few steps here and there. This week he has taken the plunge into new and exciting territory. The world awaits you little man!

This morning!

Neal woke me up this morning with a great surprise.

Neal: "Hey Mom" (whispering)

Me: "huh" (still asleep in the bed)

Neal: "Look over to the other side of the bed, there is a surprise for you"

My first thought was oh no, what animal has he found and brought inside. Much to my delight, he had made me breakfast in bed! Maple and Brown sugar frosted mini wheats on a Strawberry Shortcake tray.

Cereal never tasted so good! A great way to wake up!

I'm learning

Forget all the deep, thought-provoking posts of the past. I am learning that God created "spellcheck" for a reason. The reason being that some of us (me) can't spell worth diddly (is that even a word, is it spelled right???). So I will become more familiar with "spellcheck" in future posts.

I have also learned that my husband has planned a weekend getaway (okay just one night and day, but when your with kids all day that's like a week). I have no idea where we are going. I have been assured the kids will be well cared for and that I can relax and just enjoy some time with my husband. I'm looking forward to it for sure, as I can promise you Brad is as well. I can't wait to sleep in on Saturday morning! Oh....the joys!

Until next time........(spellcheck approved)

New adventures

We have mastered bike riding! For those of you who know us best, this was a very big deal in our family! It has been a huge father and son bonding experience.
Zoom!
Of course, Baylee was showing off her skills as well. This is her new Princess bike. She has decided to take the training wheels off next week! What else is a little sister to do when big brother can out ride you now!

Brennan, Baylee & superdog

Not sure why the tongue to out, but it made for a very cure pic.
weeeeeeeeeee..............and there is Neal again with the peace sign!
Not sure if he was yelling or laughing here. I'm sure he was having fun either way!
will not sleep...........will not sleep...........will not s...l....e...e....p..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz No, she wasn't tired at all!
Its a bird! Its a plane!.....................oh wait, its just a lazy dog! Who doesn't really look all that happy to be photographed!